These are excerpts from the author’s book “Deep,” which contains eight of his small books published in the form of Wisdom Literature covering different aspects of life: Facing troublemakers, dealing with pain, personal financial issues, gastronomy, reading, criticizing, inspiring, and feeling always good to go.

Series 8: Life Painkillers

This week: Embarrassment

Symptoms: You wish the earth would swallow you up or that you were not created at all.

Diagnosis: Feeling deeply embarrassed during an absurd situation in which you unintentionally fell.

Painkiller:

• Think a little about what it might bring back to you when feeling embarrassed: Nothing useful. Isn’t that enough to immediately stop giving in to that negative feeling?

• No one intends to fall into an embarrassing situation. Do not overburden yourself with sharp remorse. Just try to draw lessons learned to avoid repeating the situation as much as possible.

• It’s fine to be considerate of others, but feeling deeply embarrassed means that you care more about people’s opinions and reactions than you should. Be sure to differentiate between respecting others and submitting to the control of their opinions about you. That will help you evaluate situations wisely and overcome embarrassment quickly and in a healthy way when it occurs.

• Remember similar embarrassing situations faced by others around you. Remember other embarrassing situations that happened to you, even if they were different. It is all over, so it is wise to let the current embarrassing situation go as you will not benefit from its prolongation.

Treatment:

• • Embarrassment is a feeling that remains as long as you allow it. It’s okay to be somewhat sensitive toward others and different situations, but don’t overdo it. Do not allow embarrassment to dominate you for more than a moment. And do not allow it to linger in force for hours. Start searching sincerely for a positive, practical response to the situation or the person without exaggerating the justification or urgency for the sake of quickly restoring things to the way they were. Do not forget to put some confidence in the time factor if the situation is somewhat complicated.

• There is no doubt that each situation differs in its response. In general, take a moment to absorb the fleeting shock, and think about the most appropriate response. But beware of lagging behind. The longer you delay the response more than necessary, the more complex the situation is likely to become.

• Beware of those who enjoy keeping you feeling awkward and work to inflame that feeling within you. Whatever their position in the situation that happened to you, cut off the road for them by showing your indifference and self-confidence, no matter how severe the situation and its aftermath.

• Never bow in shame or defeat. Even if you are wrong, that only requires you to admit to the mistake and confront it to correct it. Always make sure to keep your head high. That will help you a lot, especially in embarrassing situations. That will be the dose of confidence you very much need in those moments. At all times, keep what you need during critical times with you.

To read more about the author, click here

Dahab’s books are available on Goodreads and Booktasters are promoting them. This is the link to a trailer on “Damn the Novel,” his first book translated into English.