These are excerpts from the author’s book “Deep,” which contains eight of his small books published in the form of Wisdom Literature covering different aspects of life: Facing troublemakers, dealing with pain, personal financial issues, gastronomy, reading, criticizing, inspiring, and feeling always good to go.

Series 6: Criticizing.

Receiving Criticism

• With your calm, confidence, and positivity, you do yourself the greatest favour in terms of receiving criticism from others.

• Make it easy for others to receive your criticism of them by being objective, kind, and honest so that the person you are criticizing feels that as much as possible.

• What you show your critics depends on your sense of their purpose and the nature of the relationship between you and them. In any case, be confident and positive. If you feel strongly about the sincerity of your critics’ intentions, make them aware of your appreciation of their criticism, whatever your opinion of it. If you feel that critics are repeating their criticism of you only to harass you, be firm but don’t show any discomfort.

• Whatever your mood when you receive criticism in any context, be careful not to close the door to those whose motives you trust and whose criticism you value.

• Even if you strongly dislike the criticism and insist on closing the door completely in front of it, it is good to leave the window open—or at least ajar—to give yourself the opportunity to reevaluate the criticism later; surrounding factors may change and encourage you to reconsider the criticism.

• One of the most prominent manifestations of skill in receiving criticism is to make those who criticize you, including those whose sincerity you trust, feel your appreciation for their criticism and its importance to you, even when you do not see it as adding something new to you. This attitude doesn’t mean you’re cheating on them, but it will keep your long-term relationship as perfect as possible.

• We cannot completely avoid the criticism that we direct to others because of our annoyance with their behaviors or actions. Rather, a large part of our criticism is due to that motive. That is OK, but remember that there is always a kind and appropriate way to express our criticism, even when we are upset.

• Don’t let your annoyance with the way others criticize you pile up, and don’t ignore it completely. Tell your critics if you don’t like the way they criticize you, and point out what you don’t like about it specifically. This will help you to receive their criticism in a better way and benefit from it—or at least from some of it—instead of rejecting it completely.

• Everyone has their own nature, as you have your own nature. It is difficult to completely adjust to the nature of each person when criticizing them, but try to understand the nature of the person you are criticizing, rather than just emptying your concerns about them to their faces and leaving. It’s important to direct others to what you see as worthy of direction in them, but it is equally important to ensure that they receive those directions in the best way possible.

• In addition to accepting criticism calmly and objectively, whatever your opinion of it or your mood and your position on those who direct it, it is important to reflect in depth on any criticism you receive. In many cases, you might return to explore some aspects other than those intended by the criticizing person. Those aspects might be completely opposite to those intended by the criticizing person, but they could benefit you and be acceptable to you.