These are excerpts from the author’s book “Deep,” which contains eight of his small books published in the form of Wisdom Literature covering different aspects of life: Facing troublemakers, dealing with pain, personal financial issues, gastronomy, reading, criticizing, inspiring, and feeling always good to go.

Series 8: Life Painkillers

This week: Self-Esteem Exaggeration

Symptoms: Feeling that you deserve more respect and appreciation than you are getting.

Diagnosis: You expect some people to appreciate your stature, even though they know nothing about it.

Painkiller:

• If you do not notice the attention you expect in a situation, this does not necessarily mean that others ignore you. Recognition and appreciation cannot consistently appear to the same degree from all people all the time.

• If someone who meets you for the first time ignores you, it is because he does not know your stature. And if someone who knows you deliberately ignores you, then that individual does not deserve to care for him or her. A person worthy of your feelings and emotions will appreciate you anyway.

• Responding reciprocatively to someone who ignored you may make you feel the pleasure of revenge. That’s okay, but don’t overly show indifference to the person who ignored you in front of others.

• Whenever you encounter a situation in which you are being ignored, use it as a coercive opportunity to practice humility. Whatever your nature, you need such exercise, and it will be very helpful when you take it seriously.

Treatment:

• Appreciation and recognition from others are undoubtedly important, but your stature is not validated by one or a few situations. Maintain your steadfastness when exposed to a situation that is not satisfactory to your pride so that the situation passes fleetingly. Otherwise your complexity of one fleeting situation may have obvious negative effects on your stature in the long run.

• Completely avoid showing off and, preemptively, talking about your social standing in order to gain the respect of others. Such behavior will not solve any expected problems about others ignoring or belittling you. On the contrary, it will exacerbate your feelings of frustration and annoyance in the event that you are unintentionally or intentionally ignored or belittled by others in any situation.

• Be careful not to let your excessive attention for recognition lead you to belittle or ignore others.

• If you do not provide others with the material or moral support they need, your stature, no matter how high it is, will not concern them.

• Ways of recognition vary according to different times and societies. Pay attention to your actions to suit the appreciation you expect from the society that includes you at the time that surrounds you.

To read more about the author, click here

Dahab’s books are available on Goodreads and Booktasters are promoting them. This is the link to a trailer on “Damn the Novel,” his first book translated into English.