These are excerpts from the author’s book “Deep,” which contains eight of his small books published in the form of Wisdom Literature covering different aspects of life: Facing troublemakers, dealing with pain, personal financial issues, gastronomy, reading, criticizing, inspiring, and feeling always good to go.

Series 8: Life Painkillers

This week: Defeat

Symptoms: A deep feeling of refraction.

Diagnosis: Losing in a significant intellectual or physical spar.

Painkiller:

• The more you regain the bitterness of defeat and the more you remember the reactions of those you know, the more difficult the healing and recovery will be. Remember the incident only for the sake of drawing lessons from it. Self-flagellation will not do you any good.

• Defeat may be bitter, but it must not be destructive. You have the right to be upset, but pay attention; your collapse is not justified.

• Remember that you neither lost a war nor even a battle; it is just a spar. Everyone will forget your loss and remember your cohesion and subsequent victories.

• Transient losses are exasperating when you make them bigger than their actual size. Many people will intentionally and unintentionally motivate you in that direction. All you need is to put the spar in its rightful place within your broad life framework. If you succeed in that, the side effects of the loss, no matter how bitter they are, will disappear automatically.

Treatment:

• It is important to charge yourself with the utmost psychological energy to enhance confidence in achieving victory before and during the preparation for the spar. But it is generally wise to realize that every encounter in life has win and loss potentials.

• It is wise not to immerse yourself in every spar by responding to all sent signals, whether being provoked by others or as a result of self-enthusiasm. Carefully study the consequences and benefits of the spar for you, and make the decision accordingly.

• When defeated in a spar, do not fear the next confrontation, and do not rush it to happen. Just leave it for the time as you may not need to confront again in a direct way to restore your dignity and feel rehabilitated.

• Focus on planning your coming achievement smartly. Work with determination and confidence to achieve long-lasting success, not just a fast-acting victory.

To read more about the author, click here

Dahab’s books are available on Goodreads and Booktasters are promoting them. This is the link to a trailer on “Damn the Novel,” his first book translated into English.