By Amara Chidinma Ezeneridu

Images courtesy Amara Chidinma Ezeneridu

I stood on the soft podium of the General Ihejirika Hall at the Armed Forces Staff College, Jaji, heart pounding like ceremonial drums that Saturday morning. It was 21^st June 2025.

Right in front of me sat many women, military widows, wives of fallen heroes, whose eyes told the stories of love, sacrifice, and grief too profound for words. We were celebrating International Widows Day, a United Nations day of action to highlight and combat the discrimination and injustice suffered by widows worldwide.

The colourful event was lovingly orchestrated by the amiable Mrs Oghogho Gwabin Musa, President of DEPOWA – Defence and Police Officers’ Wives Association. Her compassion is not performative; it is practical, intentional, and deeply healing. She poured her heart into every detail of the event, ensuring these women were not just remembered, but recognised. Not just consoled, but respected.

We gathered to celebrate their courage and their renewed purpose in life.

These women have known love.
They have known sacrifice.
They have known loss.

And now, they walk a path many do not fully understand.

As I began my role-play, the air seemed still. In a flash, I said many things without uttering a word.

Her spine upright, shoulders relaxed, as she bloomed in hopeful confidence, a confidence exuded only by a woman with a worthy husband. She flaunts her man in pride. Suddenly, he is gone. Her world crashed; crumbling faster than she could comprehend.

Their eyes were intently fixed on me, as if each widow there saw herself in that collapse. And while grief may pause a heart, life continues.

I had to remind my sisters to find the strength to rise.

As someone passionate about workforce optimisation, I must say this clearly: Widows in the workplace may go through seasons of low performance. It’s not a weakness – it’s a wound. Let us not interpret their grief as laziness, or their silence as incompetence.

Show some love. Be flexible. Be kind.
Create space for healing.
Offer support instead of pressure.
Make your workplace safe for recovery.

When a widow is given the right environment, she does more than bounce back, she rises stronger, wiser, and more resilient than ever.

To every widow out there, before you became a widow, you were a woman, a daughter, a sister, a wife, a professional, a dreamer. After he is gone, you still are.

Cry when you need to.
Heal because you deserve to.
And soar because you absolutely can.

Remember that widowhood is not your identity.
It is a status like single, married, or divorced. It does not define who you are.

You can draw from your courage and get back on the path of the lofty dreams you once held.

I see you. I honour you. And I am rooting for you.
Here’s to many more years of self-love, strength, and indubitable success.